Disney makes me think of the theme from a couple weeks ago: childhood.

Disney has it's own little string that tugs at several of my heart strings. I think a lot of people can say that... especially those of you, like many scorpios, that are in touch with the multi-layered nature of their emotions and memories.

Disney immediately invokes a thread of memories along the trail of my childhood. They all were insignificant and wonderful. Most people can say that though right? I don't think my feelings about this are much different than others.

It is probably true for a lot of people that the Disney place in their heart is where their innocence lays. It almost always brings a smile to my face. If there isn't a smile on my face I probably wasn't paying attention at all and you should repeat yourself.

A lot of memories that Disney invokes include my friends (whom were also my neighbors: Sean and Laurel) and my sister. We used to watch Fantasia on a regular basis. There was on particular part of that movie that freaked me out to no end without fail every time. It was the dinosaur part. I don't really think I can explain anything else about it because I made it a point to leave the room promptly when I knew it was coming up next.

There is another movie all of us became enthralled with for a VERY long period of time. The movie: The Lion King. The obsession: the soundtrack.

We put on NUMEROUS performances for our parents, siblings, the air that was surroundings us, our imaginary friends, etc. Gosh, I can recall those moments so easily. They make me smile so big in my heart, but also makes my heart a little heavy. 

How wonderful it was to be young. The biggest of our worries was weather to do the Mufasa song or not that day. Now, things are a lot different. I don't even speak to Sean (the boy neighbor). And well... the biggest reason, honestly, is that Laurel and her mother were killed in a car accident in February of 1999. Both of our families distanced ourselves from one another. Probably because too much pain was involved.

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Ironically, before I read that of the theme and thought of it's connections I was having a fun time with my sister waiting in the car at the drive-thru window of a local hot-dog diner. We were kidding around, being total goofs. I peer over and there is a man with a white beard and LOTS of white hair. I notice he is staring at me. And I turn back to my sister and say (in a really weird, loud, funny voice), "There's an old man staring at us!"

My sister looks at me like... um, Tracey what? But she says something that changes the tone. 

"Tracey, you know who that is. Don't you?"

I look more carefully this time.

Oh God. *heart sinks*

It's was Laurel and Sean's father. 

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So, I thought it funny when immediately all my thoughts about this week's theme involved that lovely family. That aside, let me just simply state... I love Disney movies.... Disney anything really. I remember one of the times Stephanie and I were downtown we were walking past a Disney store. I asked her if we should go look. 

Short story shorter she concluded we would be WAY too tempted by everything in there to make that a wise decision.

Have a great week everyone!

<3 trixierambler

The Good Ol' Days

What was childhood to me?

Childhood was...
Long, fast, good, bad, happy, sad, sleep overs, bed times, laughing, crying, learning, growing, evolving, changing. Childhood for me was a mess of contradictions and there's not a day that goes by when I don't wish I could relive one more day from it. Sure, there were hard times, but those hard times made me who I am today.

One thing I know for damn sure is that I miss my childhood cartoons/TV shows. Power Rangers (when I was four I was definitely the pink ranger for Halloween), Rocko's Modern Life, Hey Arnold, Pokemon, The Powerpuff Girls, Dragon Ball Z, Tales From the Crypt Keeper, GOOSEBUMPS, Pinky and the Brain...honestly I could go on forever. I also remember Beavis and Butthead seeming like the coolest show ever but I of course wasn't allowed to watch it. What in the crap is Hannah Montana? Wizards of Waverly Place? I'll take 90's shows any day of the week!!! 

One random 90's television-related memory...the nights I had karate practice, my dad and I would go out to eat at Applebee's (I always ordered the kid's spaghetti and an Oreo shake), go to practice, get ice-cream at Coldstone Creamery (I always got a mint/coffee/banana ice-cream with gummy bears as a toping), and then head home because it would be my bedtime...but he would always let me stay up late and watch Walker Texas Ranger with him. Go Chuck Norris!

Also, a ton of amazing movies came out during my childhood! Some memorable 90's movies: Titanic, Edward Scissor Hands, Bram Stroker's Dracula, Pulp Fiction, American Beauty (one of my favorite movies of all time AND won five Oscar's!), Forrest Gump, Good Will Hunting, The Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, etc.

I also remember a lot of amazing fads from my childhood... pet rocks, push pops, hula hoops, walkmen (thank God for the iPod nowadays!), WWJD, Pollypockets, and of course the Marcerena.

Perhaps most amazingly...The Broncos won TWO, count 'em, TWO Super Bowls during my childhood! Super Bowl XXXII and XXXIII in '98 and'99. I still love them to this day though, with or without John Elway!

One last big part of my childhood I remember was how I found my passion for reading. I would devour anything I would get my hands on. I read the first Harry Potter book when I was in first grade. Some of the words were a little big but I remember sitting at my kitchen table after school eating a turkey and mayo sandwich my mom had made me and trucking through it. I know a lot of people say it, but J.K. Rowling's series definitely had a huge impact on my life!

All in all I would definitely say I had a pretty great childhood...I'm glad I grew up in the time I did and I will always hold these memories close to my heart!


xoxo Mel

Siendo Hernandez

 I promise mama, I'ma do it cuz I kno I put you through it 
I know I put you through it baby 
And I just want you to sit around wit ya friends at a dinner table 
And say my baby's famous and i knew it 

My mom gave birth to me two quick months after turning nineteen, I sometimes joke that she began the teenage mother trend that happens to be all the rage in public high schools. Although I mentally persecute those girls with the baby faces and maternity pants I am glad my mother had me at the age she did.

Like any teenager my mom needed time to find herself. My grandparents raised me for much of my "toddlerism".  At one point I would even call my grandma "mom" and my mom "grandma". They taught me Spanish, they took me to many futbol games they kept me smiling and well fed. I cannot stress how well fed they kept me, these curves are not an accident :D I remember tamales on this certain hill.   My Sister Connie and Cousin Brandon and I would lay flat in the hatch back portion of my grandparent's station wagon, we'd scream our orders to them in Spanish. As the oldest I'd order the green chile tamale and eat it next to my grandpa so that he could acknowledge the fact it. It burned my tongue and stung for minutes after each bite but the praise was always well worth it. Then there is Dino's, this great hamburger place in Lincoln Heights, California, we still go their til this day. We still order the same things and the number of booths we take up keeps increasing as the years pass.

Elementary: My mom always bought us new uniforms and made sure to do our hair and pack us snacks. She would bathe us in amusing ways and tuck us into bed lovingly and bought us surprises as often as humanly possible. I remember having every Disney movie and her trading my pink bike for the black one I preferred. I remember my pet turtle 'junior' and matching outfits. With the good came some inevitable bad... Many children can relate to abusive pasts.  My mom took a lot of her frustrations out on my sister and I which caused me to become a very nervous child and carry my nail biting habit into what you could call my adult life. I dealt with a lot of personal tension and over analyzed much of my life even as a kid. I did as I was told but mostly out of fear. Fear and respect are somethings that were hard for me to distinguish between, along with fear and love. So much of my childhood was a constant desire to please and to be heard.

Middle School: That desired turned into a passion and this little writer within me was born. I started my first journal when I was eleven. I would leave it in plain sight hoping that my mom might pick it up and read it, take it in and maybe understand how much of me was unsatisfied; how much of me was broken. Another thing I believe many children can relate to is the need for a father figure. Especially children that belong to teenage parent's. Much of my writing revolved around his absence and how unappealing I must have been for him not to have stayed. Although very therapeutic for myself it was whip lash to my mother, it was betrayal and it was trashed. I was not allowed to speak to anyone about problems in the house, problems in the family and most of all problems within myself. Turning your personal life inside out for everyone to see is considered taboo in many cultures. Writing allowed me to do it in the most secret of ways. I began hiding my journals, filling them up day in and day out. I reflected on life in ways some adults still cannot.

I believe I found myself when I found writing. I am no longer shy, reserved or afraid of much. I sometime can't believe I was the little girl afraid of the rain, crying constantly, clinging from my mothers slacks asking her please not to leave me. When I look back on the way I was raised I am mostly thankful. I don't think I could raise a child. Although I did practically raise my three younger half sisters. My mom provided everything financially and she was so young. So much of my obnoxious know it all self wants to argue that she had sex and that she should have known better but it takes someone so extremely strong to keep and raise a child like myself. She is an amazing woman who I will probably claim I hate two weeks from now for some immature reason or another. I know I don't, and I hope she knows I could never. I owe her everything in this world and so much more. ( AHHH Damn Tears).

I thank my mom and my grandparents for the way I ultimately turned out. I am very passionate thanks to all of them. My grandpa speaks politics, culture, mechanics and morals with me. My mom instills me with drive, strength, determination and charisma. My grandmother is a Beast <3, she is cold blooded in a way empowering to woman in any situation, she is beautiful and loyal and loves me in a way I can not properly describe yet. These people made my childhood one for the storybooks... literally.

Dear Mom,
I Love You Dude
Sincerely,
Camii