List(iness)

I have this friend that I met while in college. He has been a dear friend. He is that kind of friend you seem to break ties with for a while many, many times. Each time he seems to get more and more distant. I am not really sure I would call him a friend anymore, more of an acquaintance. There are a few little reasons why I don't seem to connect with him. One of those reasons would be he gives me an air of shallow(ness).

In my eyes, shallowness involves picking and choosing certain types of people one would like based on one's preconceived preferences rather than getting to know the person within.

This friend of mine has said to me on several occasions that he wants to desires to find someone to connect with, asking me if I have any friends that are single that would be interested in him. I would always give him the names of some of my closest friends. He would then ask what they looked like, and if they are a Christian. I understand that some strong, fundamentalist Christians find it necessary to be with someone exactly like them. I am not picking a bone with that particular aspect at this time. However, the looks department was always the problem. I would first tell him about the things they are interested in, what they may be studying, and their personality traits. He would be fully interested in this person I described. Then, after I gave him the link to her facebook profile say that she was not the kind of girl he liked.

He always had such a specific idea of how this girl should look. She was not to look ordinary. But not in the way of an emo or scene girl. No, he needed that rare, ethnic beauty. The ones you barely ever meet.

It was then that I would get frustrated and stop giving him people. But then again, he never really asked anymore after that. Probably because I have an open mind about the kind of people I am going to date or be friends with.

It isn't about what the person looks like or what things they are interested in that is predetermined to me. Honestly, I might be discovering while writing this that I don't like that people have lists of what their perfect mate would turn out to be. How can we say the specifics of the one we will love without actually meeting them? Unless there is one in your life that you wish to be that very person?

Thinking about it, why should I pick and choose great things about several, even hundreds, of people and making them all the attributes of this person. This made up person that doesn't actually exist.

Why not just being rid of the lists and preconceived ideas of what we think we need, and decide when it comes time to decide if a person is the type of person you would like to have in your life as a friend or more?

I say ditch the lists.

Have a wonderful week everyone!
<3 trixierambler