No Explanation Needed.

Some find comfort in the things they cannot explain. I cheated and looked up a trigger for ‘comfort’ while I was brainstorming about what I could possibly say and stumbled across this photo and it just struck me.

It seems like the more things go on in life, the more I experience, the more I learn about other people in my life, the more I find this to be true. It’s not something I can really begin to explain, but it seems like there’s so much that isn’t true about life. Anymore, it seems like so many of the taboos that I was born into aren’t true and that things are actually incredibly different in reality. I suppose it goes back to the rose-colored glasses bit.

The possibility of being able to make friends or find love on the internet, for example, because it isn’t “real” is a highly popular taboo. And recently, I began to toy with the idea of whether or not people can form real relationships online. Lasting ones, the kind of relationships that you read about in books and see on film, very Notebook-esque or You’ve Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan types of relationships – I genuinely wondered if they’re possible. I wondered about whether or not it was possible for me to find that, for other people in my life to find that, and then gradually, I began to see it all over.

I started to see people as they sought comfort from one another and realized that there seems to be some kind of unspoken transparency among internet friends. It seems that so many people show more of themselves to people they “will never meet” than those that they see every day. I don’t know why this is, but it appears that people are readily willing to let others into their personal lives in that regard. I’m beginning to think that it’s because those people are looking for comfort – to find someone, anyone, just one person out there to connect and identify with. I think that when it comes down to it, that everyone is just looking for someone that they can just click with and feel drawn to. Companionship – it’s possibly one of the most basic human desires, I think. And I think that everyone out there can agree.

Yes, that’s how it is offline, too. But I think that’s how it is online sometimes. I see people pour their hearts out on blog posts and message boards to allow other people to come to their aid from around the world. And I see those other people do so happily; I see and often chime in, offering my own two cents about what I would do or what I’ve done in that position or just a friendly ear.

I’m not going to get into why I began to wonder these things because those reasons are personal, but I do know that I’ve made lasting friendships of my own on the Internet. I’ve known some of these people for going on three years now, I believe. It seems odd, but some of these people I turn to in my darkest of times and I cry to because I feel that comfort with them. I don’t feel like I need to shield myself, my worries, my fears, my pain from them. I don’t feel insecure, I’m just there and they listen and they joke with me and they make me smile – and that’s all I need. That’s all anyone needs.

I’ve seen people gradually begin to fall in love with one another via an internet club and watched as they began to seek comfort from one another when their lives were more or less in the gutter. As I watch this, because it’s still ongoing, all I can really think is how surprising it is. I never would have expected this in the first place, yet I see it whenever they talk about one another and the dedication they show to one another. It’s true, it’s real. They’ve found comfort in another person who they have never met in their life. And yes, it sounds insane, but I’m beginning to believe the taboo isn’t real, that you really can’t explain how you find comfort in some things or some people because you just "aren’t supposed to."

I’m steadily beginning to believe that you don’t need to be able to explain yourself to anyone but yourself. If the person in Jackson or London or Beijing is the one that comforts you then so be it. Everyone else can lump it because you don’t owe them any explanation and more than that, you don’t even need to be able to explain it. You just need that connection, you need that comfort. It’s carnal. I don’t think you should have to be able to pinpoint why you’re comforted by someone who is anywhere between 100 or 3,000 miles away from you. The only thing that matters at that point is you and that person and the comfort you bring each other and I think that when you do find that connection with someone that it’s important, too, and that you should hold onto them for as long as possible especially if they bring you comfort.

I find comfort in the things that I cannot explain. I find comfort in people I have never physically hugged, held hands with, kissed, or seen closer than a screen. And while I can’t explain why, I don’t regret those relationships and don’t believe I ever will.

Anyway, now that I have thoroughly rambled on, I think that I shall go to bed.

-Vicki

Edit: I suppose that the site is set back on time and in a different time zone than myself. When I posted this it was about 2 in the morning EST (Monday for the East coast!) but it shows up as being Sunday. So apologies. :$