Saturday, August 6, 2011

When friendships end.


Ugh, I hate making decisions.  Whenever I have to make decisions lately, something has to suffer because of it.  Trying to balance school and work, trying to find balance in friendships... but decisions do need to be made, because if I don't make some- I'll get burnt out trying to do make everyone happy, haha.

Like the posts from earlier this week, I've had to make difficult decisions about friendships.  I had a friend who as soon as she got a boyfriend, her friends didn't exist- until the relationships got rocky.  She's cry and cry over them to us (our circle of friends), but then by the next morning we wouldn't hear from her. An unbalanced, unfair 'friendship'. It got so ridiculous we had to make plans with her weeks in advance (mind you, we were in high school then and unemployeed). We did this, only to be ditched last minute for her boyfriend of the moment. And she'd have the nerve to complain after the fact that he ignored her the whole time as he played WoW.

I couldn't deal with it any longer, it needed to stop. I didn't want to lose her as a friend, neither did my other friends, so we had an intervention of sorts. Explained how we felt, she said she'd promise to stop. We all cried. But she didn't stop, it only got worse. It was clear the friendship was one-sided. The way I left it with her was this. One day at school, because it was the only time I would sometimes see her, I confronted her. I said simply "It's become very clear that you don't care about our 11 years old friendship. If you decide you actually want to be a friend, you make the effort. I'm exhausted, I'm not going to do all the work anymore."

Long story short, she didn't make any effort. It was the last time we spoke. I wasted tears and time on a friendship that wasn't getting any better. Though it hurts at first, I was better off than with a dead-beat 'friend' who I'd cry over during our 'friendship'.

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