Marriage...a Natural Selection?

I'm going to get married. Well, not now. But eventually.

I am a skittish worry-wart. Here are the top 3 things I'm afraid of:
1. Clowns.
2. Anything creepy-crawly with too many eyes and furry body parts.
3. That I'll marry someone who is secretly insane, someone who doesn't actually love me/I actually don't love, or not get married at all.

If nobody has taken a gander at my picture in the "Authors" page, I'll just let you know...I'm Chinese American. Chinese culture emphasizes "smart" marriages, especially when it comes to the women. First question my parents will undoubtedly ask: CAN HE SUPPORT YOU WITH HIS HIGH-POWERED JOB THAT HE MUST HAVE?! I am prepared for this. Oh, further proof that Chinese-heritaged women often choose power over good looks or whatever: the uncontested 3 top Chinese actresses Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, and Zhang Ziyi all married/dated really unattractive, powerful men. Gong Li has the most beautiful face and healthy-looking body I have ever seen a 40 year old woman have and her husband, not even being silly, looks like a potato.

Are you serious?

Michelle Yeoh married and I'm pretty sure is still married to the guy who owns Nascar. And Zhang Ziyi, still young bless her soul, dated Aviv Nevo, a major Israeli business mogul or something like that. He is terrifying. Yes, world...these are my role models.

My parents made a smart marriage. Luckily they actually love each other. It could be because they're both the product of a super specific kind of hyphenated Chinese community that I'm actually not allowed to specify for my own protection (think daughter and son of the 2 most powerful families in the region kind of thing). It could be that they love each other, it could also be that divorces are huge f-cking deal in Chinese [American] culture. I have a big, big family, and I can't think of anyone who has gotten a divorce. It's just...not done in my family. Loyalty, dedication, weathering the storm with your spouse...those are the values of marriage my parents instilled in me. I don't know if this is a Chinese thing or what...And those who don't get married are judged. Reeeeeeeally badly. My dad is actually putting up his older sister, my aunt, a spinster that we in the house can barely tolerate because she's so socially awkward. Unmarried. My sibs and I are unsure if she's even ever had a boyfriend. It's really uncomfortable to think about. My sibs and I live everyday in fear of becoming like her. My parents use it as a threat: "You need to get out and do something or else you're going to end up like your aunt." Dun dun DUNNN. My youngest brother already told me he wouldn't let me bum off him if I never married.

I went through this phase in my freshman year of college where everything I did was scientific. It must've been because I was taking Introduction to Anthropology, which is all about primates and natural selection and sexual selection. I wanted to date and marry for the sake of my future offspring. I needed someone tall and Chinese American (what can I say, I'm a Slytherin, I want pure-blood children JUST PLAYIN' it's a cultural thing) who comes from a good family with no health problems and good grades. Then I met Jon. He was a 6'3" fútbol player majoring in biochemical engineering who was also quite nerdy--his nerd forté was Lord of the Rings. He had the longest lashes I've ever seen. He was the stuff of romance novels. Shy, unassuming, chivalrous, good-looking, smart. He also wasn't Chinese, he was puertoriqueño. It was doomed love. I was still suffering from my scientific phase when I got my acceptance to transfer to uni in LA...and I broke up with him based on the development that we wouldn't be going to school with each other any more and on the constant nagging sad feeling that he wasn't Chinese.

I don't know when I decided I would marry Chinese American. Maybe it was when I self-discovered how much I hate yellow fever in guys, and one of the only ways to avoid that is by marrying ABC (American-Born Chinese). Maybe it's because most of my long-lasting friendships with guys have been with other Asian Americans because there is less culture clash. I'm not obscured by the Oriental veil with them. Note: The "Oriental veil" is the phenomenon when a non-Asian American can't get past my Chinese appearance and assumes I'm not American/can't be American, and thus treats me like I don't know what July 4th is or something ridiculous like that. I can tell my parents are super duper happy that I've decided quite firmly to marry a Chinese American dude.

I'm only 20, so I have the rest of college and eventually business school to think about marriage. To be honest? I can't wait. I'm really excited. Chinese American weddings are the bomb. I always tell myself that I can't worry about divorce because I'm not even married. If I avoid marriage because of divorce, then I've defeated myself before I've even started.

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Speaking of marriage, have you guys seen pictures of Duchess of Cambridge's wedding gallery? Personally, I thought the display of her dress was kind of creepy! But her dress is so gorgeous. Shame the display wasn't better thought out, yeh?

Hurry baaa-aaack, hurry baaaaaa-aaaaaack! Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, anyone?

Happy Humpday, errbody~
xo
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