I am only nineteen and three failed relationsips into this game of chance and already I have sworn off marriage and children. One could say that the reservations that have built up within me like cancer were inevitable. For instance, the married couple in the photos that adorn my house are not my parents, and the smiles that in turn adorn their faces are not genuine. My mother had me with one man, two years later had my next sister with another and finally my three youngest sisters with the man who is now her husband (and i use the term man loosely). Most children are taught that one falls in love, marries in white and finally has children. I on the other hand shunned those expectations early on because I was experiencing a different reality. A backwards one that defied all of the things I was "supposed" to do, a reality product of love lost, abandonment, so called sin and empty marriage. I blame life's wry sence of humor for throwing five girls into the whirlwind that is my mothers love life. How could we ever be expected to survive; seemingly mission impossible.
I have been jockingly proposed to a number of times in my life and each time I have responded with some cliche soap opera/romantic comedy mimic or another. However, part of me dies just a tincy bit inside after each role play. I am above all else a realist and I understand how hard it really is to locate and maintain true love and how much harder it is to keep believing in the ideal of a soul mates. "Playing house" is as close as I feel most people these days ever get to a happy marriage and it's disheartening when we are forced to leave our scripted fantasies in order to read the latest statistics.
These statistics have the power to spark fear, to promote doubt and even diminish hope. My opinion on marriage is : Who Cares. Don't say when I'm older and I get married, instead say when I'm older and I am in Love ... because that is what made marriage so speacial in the first place, the unconditional love that it promised. If I have learned anything it is not to fear love but to be careful with it.
Camii
This is a great post. I believe that the main reason why our relationships or marriages don't last is because we choose to not include the most important thing that is needed in them and that is God. It is imperative that we have a foundation which will help us to not only make good decisions where that is concerned, but to help us face the trials and temptations that will without a doubt present themselves along the way.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
http://www.afragileclayjarwithatreasureinside.blogspot.com
And find God they did. My mother and her husband found God, after they hit a rough patch. My house looks like a Catholic Shrine; Jesus crucifide on an actual cross at 3 ft tall, my mom built the barn jesus was born in and it stays up year round with all it's ceramic counter parts, we own too many rosaries and they were the head of the churches marriage group for years.
ReplyDeleteNow a days it takes more than religion. It takes therapy. All that religion did to them was give them something to fall back on during their fights. They stop cursing and instead adopted a language of "holy than thou". I have been around religious people long enough to understand religion does not make you a better husband, wife, mother, daughter, son... Person. You make you a better person. I also understand how empowering or hopeful religion can make you feel, so I am not bad mouthing it :). A lot goes into a good marriage, more than my nineteen year old cant ever admit her wrongs brain can grasp just yet :D
Camii
haha Camii "it takes more than religion. It takes therapy"
ReplyDeletelove it
haha I love it too!
ReplyDelete