You'll Bring Honour to Us All

When I was a little kid, one of my all time favourite Disney films was Mulan, which I'm pretty sure everyone knows to some degree. One of my best friends and I cut the entire film down to ten minutes and performed it together for a Forensics tournament in May, it went off with a bang and most everyone loved it. But when you think about it and ignore all of Mulan's general badassery (I mean, come on, she runs away from home, joins the army, kicks some serious Hun tush, and gets the guy who just so happens to be her commanding officer all while hiding the fact that she has boobs and -- well, I think you get the point) you find a story that genuinely can hit home with most people. Mulan is looking to make her family proud of her, but in the process of all these numerous attempts at being the perfect woman, bride, and daughter, she fails each and every time in a disastrous way. Each time she fails, she feels ashamed and is told that she brings dishonour to her family. Mulan is the first real film that taught me about shame (dishonour versus honour). It was the first and only really good thing that popped into my head all day while I mulled over the weekly topic.

Dishonour on you!
Dishonour on your cow!
Dishonour on your whole family!
(Mulan, 1999)

One of the most famous scenes I can think of besides the Matchmaker scene is probably when Mushu, a guardian from Mulan's ancestors, and Mulan meet for the first time. After Mulan slaps him for a crude remark, Mushu proceeds to yell at her, proclaiming that she has brought dishonour to herself, her cow (horse), and her whole family for being so brazen. Mulan immediately apologises. Why? Because she's so afraid of bringing shame to her family yet again.

Part of the reason my friends and I connect so well to the film is because we're familiar with the pressure to not shame our respective families by screwing up academically, personally, or socially. We often pressure ourselves as well. And if we do manage to bungle things up, well, let's just say the sunshine and rainbows of Carefree Land tend to be a foreign concept for a little while. For me, that was something that I really connected with while performing with my partner at our tournament together (we took fourth place by the way and we were simply ecstatic as it was our first time ever performing and we'd only practised briefly). Mulan's just like everyone else, she doesn't want to screw up because it upsets not only her but her family as well. And I don't care what anyone says, somewhere inside everyone, I'm more than certain there is something that wants nothing more than to make good old Mom and Dad proud.

I've been ashamed of things countless times in my life, hidden mistakes and failures, and later faced punishment for my immaturity. I think it's something that everyone can really relate to. At some point or another, there's bound to have been a time in your life when you've felt the weight of the world was resting upon your shoulders in some way and if you failed, you were no doubt embarrassed, ashamed, and perhaps a million more emotions on top of those two.

I can't even count the number of times I feel like I've let people down. I know I do, in various ways really and I hate it. I especially hate knowing that I've disappointed someone, I think that out of everything I've ever been told, nothing has ever made me feel worse or more ashamed of myself than hearing, "You know, I'm not mad at you, I'm disappointed. You really let me down." It's possibly one of the most crushing things I've ever heard (among a variety of silly things relating back to my love life, but that is another subject on a whole. Maybe if the weekly topic is "burning train wreck" we can go there and have a chat).

I'll admit that I'm actually pretty jealous of Mulan, mostly because she doesn't necessarily (or so it seems anyway) ever carry those feelings of shame with her after saving China (then again, who in their right mind would after the Emperor bows to them?). Meanwhile, back here in reality where there aren't any Emperors bowing to me, I know that I'll always carry the knowledge that I let someone down with me. None of us can expect to be perfect, but I often wish it was as simple as killing Shan-Yu and getting the guy at the end of the day for being so BAMF versus going through the long, arduous process of making amends and living with the repercussions of your actions for good.

Shame's a nasty brute, but that's the price we pay for being human I suppose. Failure is a part of human nature, but one that I despise more than anything. At the end of the day, I try my very best not to dwell and to simply say "C'est la vie" in the face of such obstacles. It tends to get me by best, at least until I have to face the music another day.

Anywho, have a nice week, everybody!
Vicki xx